I stayed up way too late playing
Dominion Online last night. I was just going to take a quick look at
it, since it's free to play, but I ended up in a vicious loop; if I
lost a game, I'd feel the need to try again, but if I won, I'd be
pleased with how I played and would want to try and repeat my
performance. While I lost far more games than I won (I was impressed
with the AI, actually), it nevertheless ate up my entire night.
So either Dominion is a highly
addictive game, or I'm just really stubborn. Maybe I have that
competitive urge that supposedly all male gamers have? It's certainly
possible. I know that when gaming with my friends I really focus on
the game and I almost always play to win. I'll certainly help new
players when they want advice, and I'm usually rather open about my
strategies, too. I mean, really, if I can help my friends get better
at a game that I like to play, they'll be more likely to beat me, and
thus will be more inclined to play again. Nobody likes to get
trounced at a game, especially when they feel the winner had an
unfair advantage, like experience. I can relate to this; I know that
I can get a bit sullen when I lose, though I like to think I'm fairly
gracious in defeat. Well, most of the time. At least, when I feel the
game was a close one. Let's face it, when losing feels like a
foregone conclusion an hour before you finish the game, I think
everyone is entitled to be a bit moody when the final scores are
added up.
Still, it's a bit funny; outside of
gaming, I love seeing my friends do well. Their well being brings me
great happiness, and I'm thrilled when they succeed. So isn't that
always the case when I'm gaming with them? Is it because I know that
there are no consequences if my friends lose? Or is gaming the one
medium where I can vent my frustrations and indulge my repressed
selfishness? (As a side note, this dichotomy may be why I like
cooperative games so much; I can be competitive and try to win, but I
also get to see my friends do well and succeed.)
At the end of it all, I'm not sure I'm
the right person to answer any of these questions. For one thing, I'm
still pretty tired from my night of constant Dominion. (Oh dear...
Out of context that sounds really bad!) Still, I do know that when
things are going well for me in a game, I get excited and really
pleased. Seeing a deck that I've built hum along, even if it's just
for a turn. Or seeing everything fall into place in a worker
placement game. Or even correctly divining someone's play before they
make it. These are all thoroughly satisfying to me, as is winning a
close game. Mind you, I also get a similar satisfaction from the
sound of rolling dice or the feel of shuffling a deck of cards. It
might just be a mild obsession with order and things falling into
place. I honestly don't know.
I think what I can take away from all
of this is that I should be able to find a similar satisfaction in
seeing my friends win at a game. And, thinking back, there have been
times when that has been the case. There are games that I've simply
enjoyed playing, and the outcome hasn't really been an issue for me.
Win or lose, I did something fun during the game, and even if the
scoreboard didn't reflect it in the end, I know it was a good game.
By contrast, games where I've just stomped my opponent have never
felt as satisfying; sure, I won, but there was no challenge, no
uncertainly. I just got lucky, and my opponent didn't. It almost
doesn't feel fair.
As for those nail biters, where it
could go anybody's way, where everyone played well and can feel proud
of what they did? Those games are always the best, no matter who
wins.
13/13
13/13